Adversity made easier with Conflict Competence

Sometimes, life seems harder than it needs to be. Adding conflict takes energy you’d rather not spend worrying or planning what to do next. There are also life lessons in every conflict. This blog is about those lessons. Since you’re going to experience conflict in life, why not learn from it?

Here are my beliefs about conflict competence:Conflict changes to satisfactory when we recognize the patterns in the conflicts we repeat over and over. Once we identify patterns, we can change the ones that aren’t helping us.

Conflict Competence is a wonderful skill

Anyone can be competent at anything when things are going well. Being competent under stress, strain and pressure is a gift we give ourselves.

Competence is the ability and attitude to apply what you know in new situations that arise, even stressful ones. Through competently handled conflicts we learn, grow and develop, which are unexpected positive outcomes of conflict.

And you never know when you might need these skills to cope with adversity. Fortunately, I have a toolbox of conflict competencies and must have used them all to get through the medical stresses that saved my life.

Here’s where I share the stories while I process the experiences for my own healing.

Being conflict competent means:

  1.         Understanding the patterns in your conflict interactions
  2.         Enhancing the patterns that improve your conflict interactions
  3.         Changing the patterns that don’t improve your conflict interactions

After I wrote this in 2008, I got a shock in 2010

From the time my doctor said I had aggressive Triple Negative breast cancer, I never stopped finding entertaining ways to practice conflict competence. I had to. Getting pissed off with a nurse putting toxins in my vein isn’t a helpful response.

Being conflict competent let me find advantages in living breastlessly. I’ll get to those in later posts.

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