Loneliness is a modern epidemic Standing in line at a grocery store, I overheard a customer tell the clerk ringing through her order, “I never use the self-service option because… Read more What color is loneliness? →
A woman I admire receives threats on her social media feeds. Her offence is that she’s dedicated the past three decades of her life to keeping the planet habitable for the… Read more 10 reasons to thank the Trolls →
Enter 2018, fireworks on a revving motor Anyone else feeling inundated with endless stories of unsavoury behaviour? January enflames as if Santa delivered lumps of coal named rocket, collusion, accusation,… Read more Three hopeful truths for 2018 →
Seventeen years ago, I wrote a novel about a Conflict Manager. For the past sixteen years, I’ve been editing it. My interest is in Conflict Managers’ thought processes as we… Read more Does conflict competence make a good story? →
If I listen to the voices that tell me I can’t, or it’ll never happen, I ensure that I don’t and it won’t. If I try anyway, there’s at least… Read more Will practice make up for lack of talent? →
Question posed: What is the one quality I can use to make rejection easier for the other person to accept? Answer: Sometimes rejection requires a firm, unambiguous, one sentence that doesn’t leave room for argument of whether or not you mean ‘no’. Other times, you might want a softer approach.
Question posed: How do I change the other person’s behaviour when that is what’s creating conflict? Answer: A fast 3-step dance pattern describes a lot of conflicts. Step one: the first person acts or speaks; Step two: the second person (you) interprets those words or actions, and Step three: the second person (still you) reacts based on that interpretation. So, your question is about changing step one. Most answers to your question advise you on steps two and three because that’s where you have real control. My answer is a little different than… Read more How to change other peoples’ conflict behaviour →
No! I didn’t get over it already. What’s more realistic is I’ve gotten past it. Trauma is like flowers that bloom, go dormant, and bloom again. Emotions, like living things, cycle over… Read more Get over it or get past it (or both)? →