Question posed: This question during a talk I gave. One man in the audience said a lot of getting along was being friendly and polite. Thus, he usually greeted everyone, even strangers in cities he visited, and they almost always returned his greeting. This, he said, proved that everyone can contribute to better relationships. Then, the man posed this question to me: when I travel, do I greet people, such as those standing waiting for the elevator with me. Answer: I replied that I also greet strangers but might not in the scenario… Read more Blind Spot analysis →
Hospital administrators and public health officials have pandemic plans in place. While there may or may not be a deadly pandemic, climate changes will fast-track scary epidemics. It’s good to have emergency and contingency plans in place against pathogens. However, pandemic planning seems to predict that patients, families and loved ones will accept decisions about priority for treatment. If so, is this a reasonable expectation? It is foreseeable that not all people will do as they are told, especially when they are frightened and ill. Yet, almost no country, state,… Read more Pandemic panic conflict →
Question posed: is it seemly for a manager to apologize to someone he supervises? Answer: It happens, as an intervention proceeds, that parties in conflict learn more about the other parties’ perspectives. Often, the result is that someone wants to apologize for behaviour that seemed reasonable at the time. Learning from the discussion in the mediation what the impact of that behaviour was on the other people, can put that behaviour into a whole new light. Has that happened in this case?
Question posed: In your experience as a Conflict Doctor, what is the most common cause of conflicts? Answer: My analysis of the leading cause of conflict is disappointed expectations. Some examples of what we desire that someone else doesn’t deliver are: what you want accomplished doesn’t get done someone you love fails to meet your needs the quality of work you want falls short of your standards children aren’t quiet when you need silence and so on….. Another interesting observation about disappointment over unfulfilled expectations; the person who disappointed, often did not know… Read more Disappointed Expectations are a Source of Conflict →
As well as enthralling and enchanting, the Galapagos Islands are enlightening. Critters with complex social communities are abundant. It was fascinating to watch their dynamic interactions in species and among species.–… Read more Lesson on Conflict from the Galapagos Islands →
Question posed: My dear friend and I stopped talking to each other after a huge disagreement. As far as I’m concerned, the relationship is over like we’ve divorced, or I fired my friend. Yet, that fight and my ex-friend is all I seem to talk about when I see others who know us both,. What’s that about and how do I move on? Answer: Some people, and this apparently includes you, believe that conflict breaks relationships as if the relationship no longer exists. In fact, conflict ties the conflicting people in… Read more Conflict is a Relationship →