It isn’t often I go to a Hollywood movie and then buy the DVD to show my conflict management students. When Martha, my colleague and friend, suggested we sneak in a matinee of “You Again” I agreed because it was a rainy day and I didn’t have any pressing deadlines. You Again has a terrific cast and comedic script. It’s stereotyped as a chick flick, which is unfortunate. The story is a conflict management equivalent to a work of art.
There are myths we hear about what conflict management is and what a Conflict Manager does. I propose exposing three of those myths. Here are true stories of cases I’ve had, made generic to preserve confidentiality:
My motto, the tagline to this website and my Conflict Competence consultancy, is Doing Conflict Better. How do I define those words, especially ‘conflict’, ‘competent’, and ‘better’? I start with an assumption that most people want to be able to handle conflict situations, and that most people already have ideas and skills that allow them to function in conflicts. That’s where ‘better’ fits. No matter how good our ideas and skills, we can always get better:
On 10 December, 2009, President Barak Obama accepted the Nobel Peace Prize and gave the Laureate address in Oslo, Norway. I listened with interest for many reasons, one of which… Read more Conflict management lessons from President Obama →
As well as enthralling and enchanting, the Galapagos Islands are enlightening. Critters with complex social communities are abundant. It was fascinating to watch their dynamic interactions in species and among species.–… Read more Lesson on Conflict from the Galapagos Islands →
Conflicts happen even when people agree on their shared goals and mutual tasks. I’ve observed clients agree on what they want to do and why, then disagree on how to approach the tasks and achieve the goals. This week I participated in a Insight Fusion webinar for consultants innovating ways to engage people in organizations. Following an online slide show, the community of us online discussed our belief that knowledge of and exploration about one’s thinking style is important. The discussion with my peers was mind-expanding. I saw the relevance to cases where clients agreed… Read more conflicts when the goals are the same →
Conflict Competence is a wonderful skill
Anyone can be competent at anything when things are going well. Being competent under stress, strain and pressure is a gift we give ourselves.