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Category: Conflict Competence

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s Valentine’s Day simple rules for love and loyalty

I nominate Toronto Rob Ford as Valentine guru of the year. No, seriously, he could teach Cupid. Buffoonery aside – and that’s a huge aside – his ability to keep voters willing to vote for him defies credibility. It’s what I find most astonishing – his self-imposed implosion and dizzying public unraveling hasn’t deterred his Ford Nation from believing in him. That means he has something to teach.

Conflict Analysis of Dialogue

I was retained by a team that had been in conflict for – by their reckoning – about ten years. They were so skeptical of conflict management and reluctant to discuss their issues that I suggested we try Dialogue instead of trying for resolution. Despite their unwillingness and  half-hearted engagement, they gave it a try. At the session’s conclusion, they expressed disappointment that Dialogue was just talk when they needed magic. There are many conflict management processes Four days later, I phoned to check in. The team lead reported with surprised delight that the… Read more Conflict Analysis of Dialogue

The power of apology in conflict

This week I witnessed the importance of sincerely offering and graciously accepting an apology. Granted, during times of high emotions, it isn’t always easy to do either. In these two cases, how an apology was offered (or not) and accepted (or not) had the power to change the outcome of the two relationships:

Short term success or long term conflict management?

The cliché often used to get people to take medicine is” ‘short term pain for long term gain’. How Osama bin Ladin was captured is also a cautionary tale about short term gain for long term pain. The CIA used a nurse and doctor to withdraw blood while vaccinating suspects. The DNA confirmed the suspect was indeed there. So, what are the problems with tricking people – in this using a fake medical scenario – to obtain information or data?

High salaries don’t guarantee conflict competence

Even billion dollar deals can fall apart when the highly paid executives doing the negotiating get hurt feelings. Here’s a cautionary tale about the value of doing interest based negotiations, of managing your reactions to another person, and of understanding how to have difficult conversations. If ever you wondered about the importance of relationship building in the high stakes of big business, this is a classic case study: