RESOURCES
Conflict Competence
Everyone experiences conflict sometime
Conflict competence is the ability to use the knowledge and skills you already have, even in stressful conflict situations. You’ll handle situations better when you have more control over your reactions.
Conflict Competence means Doing Conflict Better
Through competently managed conflicts we learn, grow and develop, which are often unexpected but positive outcomes of a conflict experience.
Conflict Competence
April 2, 2026
No one’s born with an instruction manual for conflict, or a hot line to conflict tech support. When you practice intentionally using your conversational competencies, you’re practicing your conflict competencies.
Conflict Competence
January 5, 2025
Are you tempted to be aggressive towards an adversary in hopes of achieving your preferred conflict outcome. In the podcast, I suggest other approaches that are more likely to get the result you want.
Conflict Competence
November 23, 2024
People who attend courses about managing conflicts report that they love the interactive experience, are excited about the skills they learn, give glowing testimonials to the instructors, see value in the material, and ... and then what? The follow up isn't encouraging.
Conflict Competence
January 25, 2021
Youths hang out online, where they can hang up, close the browser, switch tabs, open another app, flame an adversary in social media, block/ghost/gaslight, or log out. We know how to avoid conflict. Avoiding conflict rarely teaches anything useful for healthy and positive relationships. So, what are other options?
Conflict Competence
January 2, 2020
Could you summarize in a sentence what you’ve learned from your life's work, or a relationship, special interest or hobby? I decided to try writing mine instead of pretending to make New Year's resolutions.
Conflict Competence
June 26, 2017
Be more conflict competent, whether to prevent or manage a conflict, or prepare for the next conflict, even though emotions run high and feelings are hurt.
Conflict Competence
March 24, 2016
The late Rob Ford's musing are life rules to follow for conflict management and living joyously. Surprise - it turns out Mr. Ford's good, bad and ugly behaviour all conceal useful lessons. It’s a shame Mr. Ford subverted these to the Dark Side.
Conflict Competence
July 24, 2014
“This little guy will save your life.” Between diagnosis and my first mastectomy, my partner Decker put his trust in a ten-week-old puppy named Trail to keep me alive. How'd that go? Well, Trail's living large, having figured out my operating system.
Conflict Competence
February 16, 2014
Conflict Competence
September 30, 2013
Conflict Competence
August 22, 2013
Whether change is from a death, disease, divorce, depression, disappointment, or other disaster, hey, the trauma ended, move on; get over it. So, I’ll share the secret here first; it isn’t so simple. Two years ago, Dr. Simpson, exasperated, asked what kept me in sadness when the cancer was in remission. Tears were my silent answer. My risk remains high,
Conflict Competence
September 24, 2011
It was a real pleasure to be in a workshop with Bernie Mayer on Friday in Edmonton Alberta. I learned a lot and very much enjoyed the conversation with about a dozen Conflict Managers. Somewhere in the discussion, this expression was used:
Conflict Competence
April 29, 2009
Conflicts happen even when people agree on their shared goals and mutual tasks. I've observed clients agree on what they want to do and why, then disagree on how to approach the tasks and achieve the goals. This week I participated in a Insight Fusion webinar for consultants innovating ways to engage people in organizations.
Conflict Competence
February 27, 2008
Conflict Competence is a wonderful skill Anyone can be competent at anything when things are going well. Being competent under stress, strain and pressure is a gift we give ourselves.
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Conflict Competence
April 2, 2026
No one’s born with an instruction manual for conflict, or a hot line to conflict tech support. When you practice intentionally using your conversational competencies, you’re practicing your conflict competencies.
The Cassandra files
September 12, 2025
It’s hard to prove what didn’t happen. There's no do-over to prove that if you'd done something else you'd like the result better. How do you measure success or evaluate outcomes when you cannot prove what didn’t happen?
Conflict Doctor answers your questions
September 12, 2025
Question: A parent asked about his child’s recent public meltdown. As the Conflict Doctor, I squirmed, anticipating a parenting question that I’m not qualified to answer. Instead, he admitted his immature overreaction was the low point of the scene.
Conflict in fiction and popular culture
August 21, 2025
Move over Margaret Atwood and George Orwell. Kurt Vonnegut Jr. is another imaginer of future history whose sci-fi story parallels unfolding news. Player Piano, published in 1952, anticipated today's hopes and fears. In this story-world, algorithms replaced decision-making and AI replaced workers.
Conflict Competence
January 5, 2025
Are you tempted to be aggressive towards an adversary in hopes of achieving your preferred conflict outcome. In the podcast, I suggest other approaches that are more likely to get the result you want.
Conflict Competence
November 23, 2024
People who attend courses about managing conflicts report that they love the interactive experience, are excited about the skills they learn, give glowing testimonials to the instructors, see value in the material, and ... and then what? The follow up isn't encouraging.
Conflict Competence
January 25, 2021
Youths hang out online, where they can hang up, close the browser, switch tabs, open another app, flame an adversary in social media, block/ghost/gaslight, or log out. We know how to avoid conflict. Avoiding conflict rarely teaches anything useful for healthy and positive relationships. So, what are other options?
The Cassandra files
January 10, 2021
Societies are in hot disagreements over what limits on freedom are reasonable. Authorities emphasize reasonable limits as the answer. Protesters emphasize freedom. Traditional who, what, where, when and why questions don't ask: how do protesters define freedom?
The Cassandra files
October 1, 2020
A job ad I don't want to see. If you heard a pitch for a reality TV game show called Who is the Next Top Judge, would you watch?